Elizabethtown (Crowe, 2005)

This is complicated.

You want to give Crowe props for unabashedly sentimentalizing his autobiography. Long the province of novelists and Truffaut, you've just gotta give it up for the one guy who is trying to make "personal" movies.

Yet watching this incoherent turd-fest you will be shocked that this is the same man who made the very good Jerry McGoo and the very very very very very good Almost Famoo. Orlando Bloom is unwatchable. Kirsten Dunst surprisingly sweet. Much stolen from Wilder, nothing as gratuitous as the Apartmento suicide in Famoo. The Elizabethtown locals including David Gordon Green's buttboy are all cool. Story makes no sense, too much cheesy music, and a third-act roadtrip which is like a cross between On the Road and a 5th-grade History Textbook.

Best line, from Kirsten Dunst, in voice-over during the trip: "...this is where Martin Luther King was killed. But his death was only the beginning of his victory."

A strange line in a movie with ZERO black people in it.