Thursday, August 25, 2005

Broken Flowers (Jarmusch 2005)

Fuck you Jim Jarmusch. I want my money back. This movie is long, boring, meaningless, contentless, emotionless, shotless, prideless. It doesn't even deserve that sentence.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

The 40 Year-Old Virgin (Apatow, 2005)

In the words of South Park's resident annoying Jew Kyle Schwartz....I'M BACK!!!!!

Where have I been? I'm not telling, but it involved chocolate sauce.

Anyway, Judd Apatow: I used to love you. Now you are a sell-out hack just like the rest of 'em. Fuck you for making this piece-of-shit movie. Fuck you Seth Rogen for making fun of "Liar Liar," a movie about eight-hundred times more subtle than this one. Fuck you Paul Rudd for doing the same sleepy-eyed loser performance in every movie I've seen you.

Which of these does not belong: The Ben Stiller Show, The Larry Sanders Show, Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, The 40-Year Old Virgin? You know, I once saw an unproduced pilot he made starring Jason Segel and it was brilliant. Now Segel is on a CBS show slated for the fall (How I Met Your Mother) and Judd Apatow is rolling in money. Judd Apatow is a dishonest pig.